Kaycee

2007-01-02T22:28:00.000-05:00

Thank-you to everyone that posted about KC's remission and her article in the Sun!! It's so nice to hear that people are still following her story. We're not out of the woods yet, but we're in a clearing. We still have kidney damage issues hanging in the background and we're waiting for a surgery date to remove her porta-cath. She was supposed to have the surgery on thursday but it was cancelled because she has a nasty cold. It's not imperative that she have it out immediately so we can wait on that, it just would have been nice to have the "hardware" removed.

We had a great Christmas, Santa was very good to both girls. It's just so great to see her as a normal kid. Tantrums, whining, screams, laughs, smiles, running, playing and just having fun with life. She has such a great grasp on her newfound energy and is loving life.

We said good-bye to 2006 and welcomed 2007 with the hopes that it is a much better year than 2006. 2006 made us who we are and made us believe in the kindness of strangers, the strength of prayer and the power of God.....but it's a period I hope not to relive, instead I just want to look back and realize what we have now and remember what is truly important in life. Her hair is growing back, people are staring less and her persona is becoming Kaycee instead of "the kid with cancer" and I thank god everyday for giving me the gift of her. She is only 18 months old, but will forever be my hero, my strength came from her.

Thank-you again for all of the support that everyone has given. Every person that has reached out to us will forever hold a place in my heart.
XOXOXOXOXO
The MacDonald Family

2006-12-19T20:22:00.000-05:00

Thank-god for the best X-Mas present ever! Kaycee is officially in remission! The Lowell Sun is coming to the house tomorrow afternoon to do a follow-up story on Kaycee. Look for it in either the X-mas eve or X-Mas day paper.

It's so wonderful that the trips to Boston are going to be spaced out to every 3 months and even better that our baby is healthy and once again a "normal" toddler. I am going to miss everyone that we used to spend our days with. The nurses on 10 Northwest rocked, the ICU nurses were fabulous. Everybody from the receptionist, to the doctors and every single person that keeps the Jimmy Fund running....I'm gonna miss seeing them daily! Dr. Cameron Trenor is our hero, we just call him Cameron and he's become like family. I'm not sure if he reads this, but if you do....Cameron I know that what you did for us was your job, but you went above and beyond for us so many times. You will forever hold a special place in my heart for saving my baby. I really do love you and want to thank-you from the bottom of my heart for being such a phenomenal man. XOXO
Dr. Margosian is another doctor that we dealt with frequently, again another amazing man. Another doctor who went above and beyond to make us feel comfortable, well as comfortable as we could get in the situation we were in. I love you as well Steve! XOXO

2006-12-08T18:18:00.000-05:00

It's OVER! She had her big scan today and the doctor just called to say that it was free and clear! My baby kicked cancers ass! I can't stop crying so I will update more later. But for now......Screw you cancer, you got nothin on my baby girl!

2006-12-06T21:41:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while since my last post...things have been pretty busy. The girls are doing well, aside from a nasty cold that they've had for almost a month. Kaycee had her CT scan last week and it was negative for any tumors (we expected that). This Friday is the BIG test, the MIBG, the test that looks at every cell in her body, the test that either says "Yeah we're done!" or "Ummm we have to start all over again." I am sick to death over this. She was supposed to have this test last friday but it was cancelled because the machine was down. So we rescheduled for this friday. I have been sick to my stomach for 2 weeks now with worry. I consider myself a very strong person and I think that I have shown a lot of strength that I didn't even know I had during this whole process. Sure, I've had my melt downs but for the most part I've reached within myself and stayed strong and positive for my children and my whole family. For some reason I can't find that strength during these past 2 weeks. I can't eat and I can't sleep at night......but I'd love to shut the world out during the day and stay in bed. I'm not meaning for this to be a "poor me" post, but I feel like I have to finally voice it, get my feelings out. I know that no matter what the results are I will deal with what I am given. Hopefully we're done, but if not, I will turn back into who I was and fight this fight right along side of Kaycee.To my friends and family.....you are all such a great support system, I just need a little extra TLC until we find out sometimes it's hard to ask for it so I'll do it the wimpy way.....through my blog~:-)
XOXO

2006-11-10T23:19:00.000-05:00

KAYCEE FINISHED HER LAST DAY OF CHEMO TODAY!

We are very happy to announce that Kaycee is done with her chemo treatments! We are so happy, excited, relieved and thankful. Thank-you all from the bottom of our hearts for everyone that has stood by us through the past 8 months of hell. Thank-you for thinking of her, reading her web-site, praying for her and letting her into your lives. The power of prayer is amazing. I am so grateful to have my baby back. She will no longer be looked at as the sick one or the cancer kid.....she's a normal little girl. Her hair has already started to come back in. It's blonde!! I am so filled with joy and appreciation for life that I could never explain it in words. Thank-you all again for being a part of our journey.
Much Love
XOXOXO
The MacDonald Family

2006-11-08T10:44:00.000-05:00

Today marks the halfway point of her last week of treatment! She had some difficulties with her chemo on mon and tues. The needle that delivers the drug into her porta-cath came out so the chemo went right into her tissues which burns and hurts like hell....so she wasn't to happy with that. The same thing happened on the last day of her last round. Other than that she was doing great! This morning she woke up in a pool of her own vomit. Time to start drugging her up around the clock. The poor little thing. Mike took the day off so that he could spend the day with her in clinic (he's such a great dad!) We let her go in with some warm comfy feet pajamas. I figured if she's feeling like crap why not be comfy. She had a fabulous night last night before bed. She was running around, talking up a storm in her own language and thoroughly enjoying her visit with Auntie Heather (she loves her auntie so damn much). The countdown is on.......2 more days of nasty chemo and (hopefully) that's it!!

2006-11-04T23:54:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, things have been crazy as usual! Kaycee had surgery this past Monday to remove the stints (tubes) in her ureters. She did amazing and recovered much faster than expected! She of course kicked ass and took names! She has been doing very well this week with the exception of some pain and discomfort that we're still not sure what the cause is. She has one more round of chemo before she is rescaned to see what kind of progress was made with this intense last 4 rounds of chemo. So hopefully ***fingers crossed*** Friday November 10th will be her last dose of chemo therapy!!

I was very concerned because I found a mass in her abdomen....brought back all the old memories from the begining. When I took her to clinic on Friday I showed her oncologist and he believes that she has a hernia. This poor kid just keeps adding things to the list. Hopefully it'll fix itself, otherwise she'll need surgery at some point. Right now it's on the bottom of the list though and her oncologist isn't concerned. Work on the cancer now, worry about the other stuff later! Her oncologists, Dr. Steve Margosian and Dr. Cameron Trenor are absolutely AMAZING! I really do love them, they have become family to us. They make me feel so comfortable and they genuinely care about Kaycee and the family. They are the best doctors I've ever met and aside from being doctors, they are amazing wonderful people. I thank god for bringing them into our lives.

Halloween was awesome! Kaycee was a bumblebee and Kyleigh was a witch. They only lasted about an hour before they got tired, but they had a blast. I will post pictures soon in my next blog, I haven't uploaded them yet.

Kaycee has made a new friend and it's so adorable to watch them interact. Katie is her new friend, they are the same age and she adores her. Kyleigh is friends with her big sister Kelley and the 4 of them play so well together. It makes me so happy to see them playing with other kids. It shows me that cancer or not, she's a normal kid. I have met a lot of amazing people through this journey in our lives. For the most part they are amazing. Drae has been a very big support to me lately, her children are Kelley and Katie. I am truly thankful for her. Love-ya Drae.

Kaycee has so many "aunties" that love and care for her and so many people in general in her corner. She's such a lucky little girl. Thank-you to everyone that has prayed, thought about her, visited, hugged her, kissed her, loved her and allowed her to be a part of your lives.

One last thing.....BALD IS BEAUTIFUL! I'm gonna miss her cue ball head when her hair grows in.

2006-10-22T02:39:00.000-04:00

KC's oncologist called this afternoon to tell me that her blood culture showed that she had 2 types of bacteria growing in her blood. So guess where we went??? THE FREAKING HOSPITAL AGAIN! We had to go in, she had to get more blood drawn and then was hooked up to fluids and IV antibiotics. Nice 5 hour trip to the ER and we have to do it again tomorrow. Then come to find out, she needs yet another blood transfusion. She JUST had one on thursday! So sunday is back to the ER and Monday is back to Boston for a transfusion but the transfusion might have to be done tomorrow.....it'll depend on what tomorrows labs say. She's not recovering very well from this last chemotherapy round and it's scaring the hell out of me. I know I have asked this a lot, but PLEASE say another prayer for her and keep her in your thoughts. I know she'll make it through this fine, but it's still scary.

2006-10-21T00:08:00.000-04:00

She's home. Safe and sound and sleeping like an angel in her own bed!! Poor Mike went there after work to pick her up because she was supposed to be discharged at 4pm.......They didn't leave until 9pm! He slept there last night with her and was woken up every hour by the nurses. He went to work at 6am, went back to the hospital, stayed there until 9:00, got home at 9:30. Guess where he is now?? WORK! He had to be back in Boston by 11pm to work overtime until 11 tomorrow morning! Poor guy is exhausted. He's such a fantastic daddy, he never complained once. All he said was "I was with Kaycee the whole time. How could that be a bad thing?" He's amazing.

Anyway, she is home and I am happy. She still has to be careful and not really be around people for the next 2-3 days but at least she's back with us! Thank-you so much for your kind words, thoughts and prayers!!

2006-10-20T15:16:00.000-04:00

Kaycee is coming home tonight! She responded very well to the antibiotics that they gave her and she no longer has a fever! She's in very good spirits and ready to come home and raise some hell!! My little bruiser kicks so much ass! Cancer has nothing on her.

2006-10-19T14:37:00.000-04:00

We are being admitted today, we're in clinic waiting for a bed to open up at Childrens. They are pretty sure she has an infection, they are trying to find out where and what it is. They have done some blood and urine cultures to see what is going on. It could be a quick overnight stay, or it could be another week long adventure......Lets pray for the overnight. Thanks for keeping her in your thoughts and prayers yet again.
XOXO
The MacDonald Family

2006-10-19T11:36:00.000-04:00

Kaycee has a fever and very low white blood cells so this means she needs to be hospitalized. We're heading there in a few minutes, please keep her in your prayers. I'll update when I can.

2006-10-04T11:50:00.000-04:00

Kaycee did well with her transfusion, she got to come home with us! We were there until 2 am but at least I didn't have to leave without her yet again. My mom came with us to keep me company (thanks mom!), so I had some entertainment.

KC's starting yet another round of chemo next week. I feel like we never really leave that place! Only 2 more rounds and then they'll test her again to see what kind of progress she's made. It's so nerve wracking to think that the tumor is growing or that the chemo isn't effective, I try to stay positive but that's always nagging me in the back of my mind.

Ky and KC are playing right now and all I can hear is laughter from both of them.....it's moments like this that make me realize that she'll be fine. God wouldn't take her away from her sister......they need each other. She's totally going to kick cancers ass!

2006-09-28T17:01:00.000-04:00

Kaycee finished her second round of chemo last week.....2 more to go. She handled it pretty well, we started the shots again and she seems to be starting to feel the pain. I just got a phone call from her doctor saying that her blood counts are dangerously low so we are going in tonight. She is being admitted to the oncology floor to have a blood transfusion and hopefully we won't end up staying too long. I'm actually hoping that we can leave at some point during the night.....wishful thinking. They might want to keep her because along with her counts being dangerously low, she's sick with a cold. Say a little prayer for her that she gets to come home when I do!

2006-09-08T23:54:00.000-04:00

Kaycee is doing pretty well. She's been in pain for the past few days, up crying all night and cranky during the day. She's been getting shots every day in her legs to boost her white blood count. I actually gave her the shot today (the nurse has been here everyday to do it). I was feeling brave and when the nurse got here I said "OK I'm ready to do it" and just like that.....I did it! She didn't even cry when I did it, she cries every time the nurse does it. I don't know if she felt more comfortable with me doing it......her nurse, Kathy, is freaking amazing....she's SUCH a wonderful woman, so great with KC and even takes time to visit with Kyleigh when she's here. I love her, she's one of KC's angels. Anyway, I was very proud of myself for being able to give her the shot. I'm gonna do it tomorrow and Sunday too. If I'm not comfortable with it, the nurse will come back on Monday.

I realized that I hardly ever talk about Kyleigh on here. Ky is doing excellent, she's such a good girl and a great helper to me now. She started school this week, she had 2 one hour orientation days and next week she starts 3 full days per week! I can't stand it, I'm gonna be a mess on Tuesday when I drop her off for the ENTIRE day! She needs stability though, KC's new chemo schedule is 5 days straight every 3 weeks. Ky needs structure and stability. Sending her to different people's houses everyday is to much for her. She has a ball at her cousins house or at Auntie Kims, but I wanted her to have a place of her own to look forward to. It's gonna be great for her to use her brain too....she's so smart. She loved orientation and told me that she was "devastated" that I picked her up so soon. She's gonna do just fine without me. haha

Mike and I are doing well also. We're trying to keep things normal for the girls as well as trying to find "us" time. I am so lucky to have him, he's such a great daddy to the girls and a pretty damn good husband too :-)

2006-08-30T23:36:00.000-04:00

OUR BABY IS HOME!!! I don't think I have to say much more than that! We're all sleeping under one roof tonight! Thanks for all the prayers and kind words. 3 weeks was a long time and it's finally over!

2006-08-28T14:23:00.000-04:00

I'm in the hospital with my little angel so this is just a quick update. Kaycee is doing great! She is on day 3 of her 5 day chemo round. Her chemo is at night so we have all day to play and she can just be a "normal" kid. We went to lunch with auntie Heather and then hung out in the garden for about an hour......her first time outside in 2 1/2 weeks!! She was so happy to get some fresh air. She hasn't had a lot of nausea this time around which is amazing for her....she usually gets SO SICK with chemo. She's been a little gaggy when she eats, but nothing compared to how she was feeling for her previous rounds. Hopefully we'll be going home on Wednesday night after chemo which will take us to 3 weeks in-patient. I'm just ready to take her home with mommy, daddy and Kyleigh. They were so happy to see each other the other day, they were hugging and kissing....it was so great to see them interacting. The staff here has been AMAZING!! ICU nurses Lyndsay and Jeanie were phenomenal. 10 NW nurse Nicole became a friend to me and treated KC so great, her CA Carrie was amazing as well. Carrie had a special bond with KC because she is also a cancer survivor (you go girl). 6N is where she is now and it's like family up there. The nurses are once again amazing. Things are looking up! Keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She's still amazing us and most importantly......SHE'S KICKING CANCER'S ASS!

2006-08-16T19:38:00.000-04:00

Kaycee was taken off the breathing tube today! She is breathing on her own and waking up quite a bit. Her lungs were pretty congested, but that's all to be expected. She was pretty confused and she developed a lazy eye, hopefully that goes away once she's fully awake. The pathology came back on her tumor and it shows that there is still live tumor cells in there. It is attatched to everything that the tumor was attatched to. That was pretty devastating news, however it was expected. I was hoping that she was finally out of the woods, but at least they got the bulk of the cancer. She's going to have to have a more aggressive type of chemo and it has shitty side effects, including possible infertility. I told the doctor to save her life, let her live a long life and we'll work on her sister to have babies for her! Today was yet another roller coaster. The best part of my day was literally holding my baby for 4 1/2 hours in my arms. I love her so damn much. Keep the prayers coming!

2006-08-11T08:31:00.000-04:00

THEY REMOVED THE ENTIRE TUMOR!!!!!!!!!! The surgery took 12 1/2 hours because the tumor had invaded almost everything from her kidneys down. It was "plastered" to her intestines, ureters and aorta.They had to send a small shaving of her intestine to pathology to make sure that it doesn't have any live cancer cells. They had to remove a small section of her kidney because the tumor had killed a piece of it. They also had to remove some of her lymph nodes because they were either covered in tumor or they had serious damage because of the tumor. Dr. Kim said that some of the tumor was dead and scarred from the chemotherapy, so it was working it just wasn't shrinking it. She may need radiation after this if it shows any cancer cells in her intestines. One day at a time though so I'm on cloud nine that they removed the ENTIRE TUMOR! She did fabulous throughout the entire surgery, remained in stable condition and only required 1 unit of blood! My little girl is AMAZING. She's still on her breathing tube because of the length of her surgery. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers for the next few days and I will update when I can.
XOXO

2006-08-08T14:52:00.000-04:00

WE ARE GOING IN FOR SURGERY ON THURSDAY!!
They are doing surgery now because they chemo hasn't shrunk it as much as they were hoping so they think if they go in and remove most of it, her body will work with the chemo or radiation to shrink the rest. We have a pre-op appointment tomorrow (wednesday) and then we are going in for surgery thursday. I will keep everyone posted whenever I can, we'll probably be in for about a week. SAY A PRAYER FOR OUR BABY GIRL!!!!!
XOXO

2006-08-04T06:12:00.000-04:00

We are getting ready to head in for her scans. Mike and I are up and ready, we're letting princess sleep another few minutes. Today is gonna be a long sucky day! Her injection didn't go over to well, she had to be held down for 2 minutes and she freaked out! The vein that they got ended up squirting blood.....it was pretty nasty. I found out at the appointment that she's gonna be fully awake for the 2 hour MIBG scan and that she has to be held down for the entire thing. I'm bringing movies for her and we'll try so hard to keep her happy and distracted. She's like me though.....HATES to be held down. She may surprise us though, who knows. Her CT Scan is this afternoon but she'll be asleep for that one. It's gonna be a long day. Say a prayer for her today please.
XOXO

2006-08-03T11:32:00.000-04:00

We're heading into Boston this afternoon to get Kaycee's dye injection. She needs a dye injected into her blood for her MIBG scan tomorrow morning. The MIBG scan looks at all cancer cells in her body so we will find out how much the chemo has worked AND if it has spread anywhere. After the MIBG scan she is having a CAT Scan of her abdomen to look at the tumor. LONG day tomorrow......she has to be knocked out for the CAT Scan. Both tests are done at Childrens Hospital. Wish us luck!!

2006-08-01T20:25:00.000-04:00

We went in today for a blood transfusion and once again it was an all day thing! We actually had a pretty decent day though. While we were waiting to check in Kaycee made a friend!! She hardly ever makes friends with kids or babies....she makes friends with the teenagers. We met a girl named Melissa who was there with her parents and her friend. They were all amazing people and they ended up in the bed next to us so we chatted and passed the time together. I gave them the web address so........... Melissa if you are reading this, you are an amazing young woman and I am sure you are gonna kick cancers ass just like Kaycee is! You have a permanent place in my heart and I hope you check in once and a while to let us know how your doing! Stay strong honey!! xoxo MUAH

2006-07-31T14:48:00.000-04:00

Kaycee's counts are low AGAIN and I have to bring her in tomorrow (tuesday) morning for yet another blood transfusion! It sounds horrible but I honestly can't remember how many transfusions she has had since her diagnoses. PLEASE DONATE BLOOD! It has saved her life countless times. Some people have asked "what can I do?" well there's your answer. Donate blood and while your looking at that nasty needle remember that you could be saving my Kaycee's life or anyone elses life for that matter. Say a little something to her in your head to psych yourself up, do whatever you need to do.....just do it! It's free, you get a little snack afterwards and sometimes they'll give you a fun prize!

2006-07-28T16:43:00.000-04:00

We ended up at clinic today for IV fluids. She just wasn't herself and I called them this morning to let them know. Good thing I brought her in because her electrolytes were all out of whack and her white blood count went down significantly in just 24 hours. 500 is considered too low, she was 450 yesterday.....this afternoon she was 200. They like it at at least 750. Anyways, she's resting now and hopefully will start to feel a little better over the weekend.

I on the other hand am going out tonight! I'm going with my mom, cousin and aunt to the Melissa Etheridge concert in Lowell!! She kicked cancers ass too so it will be nice to be in her presence.

2006-07-27T16:53:00.000-04:00

Blah blah blah! Kaycee is having another crap week! She is so melancholy and just BLAH! Each chemo treatment seems to kick her down a little bit more than the last. She took a 3 hour nap today and she's still draggin along. Right now she's sitting on the floor staring at the wall. It's so sad to look at. Her counts are starting to fall again, I just got off the phone with her nurse. It's so frustrating to wait it out, watching your child get sicker before she can get better. I can always tell when she's had chemo because I can see her bones in her back.....she has no appetite and barely drinks enough fluids. Her throat is so dry that she barely has a voice and sounds like a baby bird. I sound really "poor us" right now, but it's the reality. Sometimes our days are really tough to pull through. I try not to write about it here because I want to put a positive spin on everything.

2006-07-24T21:28:00.000-04:00

Kaycee is moving along quicker than first thought. Her chemo is so tough on her and pretty much wipes her out. However, with the bad comes the good. The more it wipes her out, the faster it's working. Here's how it works; the chemo basically "eats" her fast growing cells (hair, blood cells, stomach lining, skin, cancer cells, tumor). When she gets so violently ill it means that it's quickly attacking her tummy as well as quickly eating her tumor. Each time she throws up, I know that a little piece of tumor is also dissolving. Everytime she breaks out in a rash, each time her blood counts drop.....I know that the chemo is doing its job. With the bad, comes the good.

She had a very tough week last week. She was scheduled for chemo on Mon, Tues and Wed....We went in on Monday and her counts were to low and we got sent home. We came back for Wed, Thurs and Fri. Wed was such a LOOOOOOONG day, 9 hours to be exact. Kaycee doesn't handle being in one place for that long very well. Neither do I. She screamed and cried and kicked and screamed. Wednesday night she threw up 5 times in her sleep, thursday she couldn't even keep down water. Thursday was probably my toughest day at clinic. It was a "quick" day...."only" 3 1/2 hours. She was so sad and so sick. She threw in the towel, she had no fight left in her. Her cries weren't out of frustration like they usually are in clinic, they were so sad as if to say "Why mommy? Why is this happening to me? Why can't you make me feel better?" I cried a lot that day, looking at her sleep, driving home just a quick glance at her sad little face broke my heart. They added yet another medication for her nausea which helped out a lot, her "cocktail" (as I call it) is a necessity every day for about 10 days following chemo. But like I said, with the bad comes the good so it's all worth it. She is feeling better as the days move ahead. Her nausea is controlled with medications and her appetite is slowly coming back. Her smile is back so my days are brighter.

In the beginning, we were told that the doctors would not look at her tumor again until the end of her treatment which would bring us to December. Kaycee didn't like that to well so she's running the show now. She's kicking so much ass that she is getting scanned on August 4th! They are talking about doing one more chemo and then taking her in for surgery to remove most of the tumor! She's still going to need more chemo treatments after her surgery, but we're so ahead of schedule at this point!

I TOLD YOU ALL THAT SHE WAS GONNA KICK CANCER'S ASS!

2006-07-07T23:59:00.000-04:00

It has been such a long day so I will do a full update later. Biggest news of the day.....KAYCEE AND I MET SHERYL CROW TODAY!!! Channel 4 news came out tonight and did an interview and we were on the news!! I can't freakin believe it! Here's the link to the story.

http://cbs4boston.com/seenon/local_story_188205427.html

Sheryl was the sweetest woman! She was so down to earth that I actually felt comfortable talking to her. LOVE HER! I was a fan before, but just the fact that she took time out of her day to talk to my daughter along with all the other patients there.......she now has a new number 1 fan!

2006-07-01T22:59:00.000-04:00

The girls have been having a fantastic summer so far! We have been spending a lot of time with Laura & her 2 boys as well as Lisa (Laura's sister) & her 2 girls. All of the kids play so well together and Kyleigh calls them her "new cousins" it's so cute. Kaycee had her first swim with Auntie Laura the other day and she loved it! She kept trying to put her face in the water....she managed to do it once and then realized that maybe that's not such a good idea! hahaha I am so glad that I have friends to hang out with during the day and it's even better because they have kids too! Not to mention the fact that I love Laura, Lisa and all the kids......but my kids love them all as well. Kaycee gets spoiled by Auntie Laura because Laura doesn't have any girls......yet :-) and because she's so damn cute of course!!

After her trip to Boston tuesday night she has been doing well. I have been keeping on-top of her nausea medication because if she misses a dose she seems sick (she gags a lot). She has been sleeping more lately too. I can tell that this chemo round has been tough on her but still to everyone else she seems fine! It's so great that she's able to stay happy and playful despite this horrible disease. The only reason I can tell she's sick is because I'm with her 24/7. She keeps amazing me everyday.

2006-06-29T02:40:00.000-04:00

So here's the long awaited update! I've been very busy and haven't had a chance to update. First and foremost, I want to say thank-you to EVERYONE who attended Kaycee's benefit last friday night. I appreciated every single persons attendance whether you stopped in for 10 minutes or stayed the entire night. Just seeing that many people in one room for the same purpose.....to help support my baby girl....it was a feeling that I will never be able to describe in words. I want to sincerely thank everybody from the bottom of my heart, my family and I will never forget it. Each and everyone of you have a special place in my heart.

Kaycee had a very good week last week. She was pretty much doing good since her birthday. She and her sister were back to normal, hugging and kissing one minute and yelling at each other the next. KC is not letting Ky get away with anything anymore, she yells right back at her and it cracks me up! She doesn't really talk all that much so she just screams or says "NO!". They are so funny together, I wish everyone could have the chance to see them interact with each other.

Monday was her chemotherapy day and it was awful. She went in early in the morning and stayed until late in the day, almost 10 hours. It was just her and I and it was an extremely tough day. She was pretty much screaming and crying the entire day. She was so uncomfortable, irritable and I could tell that she just wasn't feeling good. By the time I got home I was completely burned out so I called my girls. Me, Heather and Laura went out for dinner and drinks and it was the best thing they could have done for me. THANKS A MILLION GIRLS!! As soon as I got in Heathers car I was in a good mood. We had a really nice night with a lot of laughs, I would be lost without you 2 and I love you girls to death. Thank-you for letting me be "me" for a few hours.

I got to go to bed at 10:30pm which was amazing because I don't remember the last time I went to bed before 1am and it's usually more like 3am. Tuesday started out great. The girls and I went to Laura's mom's house and hung out by the pool with Laura's sister Lisa and her 2 girls, Laura and her 2 boys, Tony and Holly. After that I went to Baby's R Us to get KC a nice comfy car seat with Heather and she was still in such a great mood. By the time 10pm hit she looked like she was hit by a bus. Mike was holding her and said she was burning up, sure enough she had a temperature. Her temp went up to 102. For a healthy child, 102 isn't all that dangerous because children can run much higher fevers than adults. But for a cancer kid 102 is dangerous. I called her oncologist and he said to bring her into the Childrens Hospital ER immediately. So I packed up the car and headed into Boston at 10:30pm with Kaycee. After we got there she started throwing up EVERYWHERE and didn't stop for about an hour. The poor little munchkin was so sick and just wanted to sleep but she couldn't stop throwing up. They hooked her up to IV fluids and IV anti-biotics along with anti-nausea medication. We finally got home around 4am. She threw up again this morning but didn't have a fever so she was ok to stay home. I was told that she may be like this for a few weeks because this chemo round really wiped her out. She was smiling again tonight though and her good moment out-weighed her bad moments......I'll take that! She's still a tough cookie and SUCH a good girl. I love her soooooooo much.

2006-06-16T02:57:00.000-04:00

Kaycee is officially ONE!!!! She had a great birthday and was in such a great mood. She was sick, her counts were low.....especially her white blood cells so she had to stay in but you couldn't tell she was sick by looking at her. Once again she wasn't affected by her illness and smiled through everything. She made it to the front page of the Wilmington Town Crier as well as the Lowell Sun, she's a celebrity now! hahaha Her web-site info was in there, so if your reading this because of the atricles in the newspaper I want to thank-you for stopping by.....It really means the world to me and my family. Anyway I took some pictures of her first birthday. Because she was so sick we can't have a party for her so we had a very small get together. She had chinese food with Mommy, Daddy, Kyleigh and Auntie Heather. After that Mimi, Papa, Elbow (uncle Jason) and Auntie Karen came over for cake and presents. We did a Winnie the Pooh theme and she LOVED her cake! We had a small cake just for her and she had soooooo much fun playing with it! She got some in her mouth, but mostly painted herself and the table!! I love that little girl so much :-) I posted some pics of her cake mess....there's some boring pics of the cake, but I just couldn't help myself haha.

2006-06-14T07:33:00.000-04:00

Good news and bad news.
Good News : The Wilmington Town Crier is doing a story on Kaycee, it will be in Thursdays paper, Thursday is her birthday as well! Also the Lowell Sun is doing a story on her. A reporter is coming to the house today along with a photographer to interview us and take pictures for their story. She's freakin famous!

Bad News: My Nana passed away last night. She lived a long life and died very peacefully surrounded by her children and grandchildren. I watched her take her last breath and her soul left this earth. I love you Nana, rest in peace my sweet angel.

2006-06-13T02:52:00.000-04:00

My baby girl is going to be 1 on Thursday!! I can't believe my little angel is allready turning 1!! She's sleeping on the floor right now in the living room hahaha! It's almost 3am and she finally fell asleep so I'm afraid to move her. She just totally crashed. I went into the bathroom to change over the laundry and when I came out she was fast asleep on the floor! Strange little girl.

It's funny how your body can adapt to anything. I'm so used to going to sleep between 3-4am that I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep early once she gets on a regular sleep schedule.

She had another tough day today, her tummy was not well and she got such bad diarrhea that she now has a NASTY diaper rash (poor muffin). She was also very irritated and wanted me to hold her all day long. Every time I went into the kitchen to make her a bottle or to get Kyleigh's meals ready she would stand at my legs trying to climb up my butt and cry her little eyes out. She's so clingy to me all the time. Probably because she and I spend an insane amount of alone time together.

Her nurse came out today to check on her.....weight, blood pressure and temp. She gained another 1/2 pound making it 3 pounds total since she left the hospital 1 month ago! Her BP was great and she hadn't even had her medicine yet so that's a great sign. She's going to need an interventional specialist which is basically physical, occupational and speech therapy all in one. She's got some nerve damage from the chemo. She's having a hard time with her pincer grip (picking things up with her thumb and pointer finger) and she drops things all the time which is very new because she never had problems with that before. She's also has some nerve damage in her feet, one of her feet drags when she walks.....well she doesn't walk alone but when you hold her hands and walk with her. Most of the time the nerve damage goes away after all of the chemo is complete, but sometimes it doesn't so they want to have the therapist help her re-learn things with the nerve damage.

2006-06-07T03:34:00.000-04:00

It is 3:30am and Kaycee just finally went to bed! She fell asleep at 9:30 and then woke up at 11:30 crying so hard that she couldn't catch her breath! I felt so bad for her. We sat on the couch together and I gave her some nausea meds. At 1am she was still up and cranky so I decided to take her to CVS in Wilmington to get some Tylenol, thankfully it's open 24 hours. After she took the tylenol it took her about 15 minutes to feel better. Poor little thing was in pain! So we hung out and watched tv until just a few minutes ago! I'm so over tired that I can't fall asleep just yet so I figured I'd update. Tomorrow is gonna be a loooooooooooooong day. I am gonna be so tired!! I have to go see Kyleigh's therapist at noon to meet her and tell her all about Ky. She wants to meet me first so Ky will probably meet her at the next appointment. I hope it helps her deal with things better. It's just so weird to me that my 3 1/2 year old is going to be in therapy! It's absolutely neccesary, but it's still kinda weird.

2006-06-05T23:57:00.000-04:00

Here's some pics from this weekend at the hospital. As you can see, she's happy despite her situation. She'll throw up all over the place and then look at me and smile. She bounces back so quickly it amazes me. I also updated in the blog before this one a few minutes ago :-)

2006-06-05T23:36:00.000-04:00

We had a tough weekend, but we were surrounded by wonderful people. We lucked out and had a great room-mate, she was a 10 month old beautiful little girl. Unfortunatley the girls were on opposite schedules so KC kept waking her up at night during her screaming fits.....I tried keeping Kace out of the room as much as possible to let her an her mom sleep. Other than night time, the room was a happy place to be. The girls both smiled and laughed despite the horror their bodies are going through.

Her doctor, Dr. Margossian, was freaking phenominal. He was so caring and very attentive. He went above and beyond and had an excellent bedside manner. Some doctors that we have dealt with will pass you by in the halls without even looking at you or forget their patients name....not him. He made a point to ask how we were doing everytime he'd see us walking around, always called her by her name and smiled when he talked to us. He answered all of my millions of questions without being annoyed and was very good at explaining everything to me.

All of the nurses were great! Joellen was her nurse during the day and she was so great. She loved Ky and really made it a point to be friendly to me and made me feel so comfortable. I always feel bad asking the nurses for things (I don't know why) but she made me feel comfortable asking her anything. She even read my mind a few times, coming in the room with her "as needed" meds right when I was about to ask for them. The picture at the top was taken just for her because she thought it was so cute the way she sleeps folded over.

Another nurse that went above and beyond was Jeannie. She wasn't even her nurse this time around....didn't even work on her floor. She was Kaycee's main nurse while she was in the ICU during her first stay at the hospital. During one of Kaycee's marathon nights we went walking around the hospital and I went over to the ICU and asked for her. She came right out, remembered Kaycee and was genuinely excited to see her. She had remembered that Kaycee had a special blanket and told me that her daughter had the same exact one that she never even used so she asked me if we wanted it. Well the next night she came in with the blanket as well as an adorable hat because she knew Kaycee would need hats this summer. What an amazing woman she is. I'm sure it was nothing for her to do it, but I hope she knows how much I truly appreciated it.

There was another little girl Hannah....she was beautiful and so full of life. Everytime I saw her I was instantly happy. She has such a bright light around her. The scariest thing for me is Kaycee's hair falling out. Hannah is completely bald and is amazingly gorgeous. It set my mind at ease. I will forever keep her and her family in my heart.

2006-06-04T13:02:00.000-04:00

We are still at Childrens Hospital in Boston. She is currently getting a blood transfusion and will start her 3rd chemo dose when that's done. She had a really tough weekend, this round made her very sick so she was vomiting and cranky. It also gave her diarrhea so her little bum was bleeding because she got such a severe diaper rash. She was crawling all over the playroom this morning though so that made me happy to see. As soon as she's done with her chemo we can go home tonight! We're probably looking at an 8 o'clock discharge. Kinda late, but I'd wait until 11pm if I knew we were definitely going home!! 2 rounds down, 6 to go! This stay was easier than the last one.....still sucks, but the sting wasn't as hard. Thanks for keeping her in your hearts, thoughts and prayers.

2006-06-01T23:10:00.000-04:00

Kaycee had another really good day, her energy and happiness amazes me. She has not one bit of fear of whats to come and that is the best part of this whole thing. She's got a tough weekend ahead of her. We are heading into the Jimmy Fund Clinic tomorrow morning and from there she will be admitted to Childrens hospital. She has 3 days of chemo and lots of tests to be done so they say she will be in for 3 maybe 4 days depending on how she responds to this round of chemo. This round is tougher on her than the first round and the main side effect is that it beats on the kidneys. Because her kidneys were so damaged in the begining, they have to be sure she tolerates this round well. They don't think it'll be any more problematic than any other child because her kidneys have healed great, but they just want to be 100% sure. If I'm not able to get on-line over the weekend, I will update next week when we come home. Please keep her in your thoughts, hearts and prayers this weekend. Thanks again :-)

2006-05-31T23:53:00.000-04:00

Kaycee has had a good week, the weekend was tough but she bounced back with ease! She had such a GREAT day today. Her appetite was amazing. I swear she ate all day long and I'm not talking snacking all day either. She ate breakfast, lunch and a HUGE dinner....then snacked on raisins and crackers in between. She had her first ear of corn today and fell madly in love hahahaha. She ate every single kernel off of the cob. She was in such a great mood and laughed all day. I don't think she cried once all day, she even woke up with a smile. Today ranks high on my favorite Kaycee days. She and Kyleigh played all morning together in Ky's room. They laughed so loud and even shared with each other! At one point there was silence so I went in to check.....just to make sure Ky wasn't sitting on Kaycee or anything (hahaha) and Ky had KC sitting on her lap and they were watching tv together, it was the sweetest thing! I have the greatest kids in the world.

2006-05-30T02:00:00.000-04:00

Kaycee had a tough weekend. Her counts were pretty low and she was very tired and cranky. She didn't need a transfusion and never spiked a fever....she was just not herself. I was feeding her a bottle late this morning and I noticed that she had a hair in her eye so I blew it away. Then I noticed another near her ear, again I blew it away. Then I looked at my arm where she was resting her head...it was covered in hair. I ran my hand through her hair and it was coming out in clumps. I sat with her and pulled out clumps of hair for a half hour and cried. She didn't even flinch.....she closed her eyes as though it felt nice. I wonder if her scalp was itchy from it. Poor little princess, it breaks my heart to see her almost bald. It KILLS me that she looks sick. I know it's only hair....but it really makes me sad.

2006-05-27T17:02:00.000-04:00

A lot of people have been asking for the address of Lowell Five Savings bank for Kaycee's fund. The bank that I set it up at is Tewksbury, but you can go to any branch you want. The mailing address is:
1775 Main Street
Tewksbury, MA 01876

2006-05-27T01:34:00.000-04:00

She finally slept through the night!! Thursday night, the doctor told me to give her benadryl and it worked.....thank god! It works to help her sleep and it also works as a nausea medication. She had SUCH a great day today and Heather says she went to bed with no problems. Mike and I went out to my friend Julie's graduation party for the night so Heather watched the girls. It was so great to get out for a few hours, and it was awesome to see everyone. Mike and I needed some "us" time.

I talked to her nurse over at the clinic today and her labs are low. Not put her in a plastic bubble low, but keep her quiet and away from a lot of people low. Her white blood cells are 1/2 of what they should be so that means she could get sick so easily. You can't tell that she's sick by spending time with her though, she's such a happy little girl.

Another thing that her nurse told me was that she has to go back into the hospital next Friday (June 2). She'll be in for 3 days for chemo and to check out her kidneys. She has to do this chemo round in-patient because her kidneys were so bad that they want to keep a very close eye on her. This round of chemo can really beat on her kidneys. It's only a weekend stay, but it still makes me feel kinda sad. I just can't wait for all of this to be over and it's only just begun. Poor little baby, it breaks my heart to know that she has to endure all of this.

2006-05-25T21:35:00.000-04:00

So she has been having really difficult nights......She basically doesn't sleep at night. She gets herself into a folded over position and that causes severe pain for her. Her tumor is so large that when she sleeps like that it presses against her organs. I feel so bad for her. It's so frustrating because if she just slept normally she would be fine. For some reason she only goes into that position at night, for her naps she stays on her back and is fine. So I was up with her until 6:30am from last night. She gave me 2 periods of sleep, one was for 20 minutes and the other was 45 minutes. I don't really function all that well on no sleep. She finally went to sleep at 6:30am and slept until 11:30am.....Ky woke me up at 8:30am. Needless to say I was a freakin zombie today. I called her oncologist to see what they could do for her. He told me to slip some benadryl into her bottle to knock her out.....this way she won't fold herself in half (hopefully) and if that works than we know for sure that it's positioning that is causing her pain. Poor baby. She has never been a very good sleeper but this is just extreme. She screams and is hard to console her, it takes about 15 minutes to calm her down. She is so tired, but she can't get comfortable. It breaks my heart. As a mother I want to be able to take away her pain and I feel helpless.
There's my rant for the day

Her daytime was excellent! She was in such a great mood, ate a huge dinner and was just so happy. I love that little munchkin butt until it hurts. All the sleepless nights are wiped away with one smile from her. I bought her 4 sun hats today because she allready started losing her hair......thank god she's a hat person!! Just like her momma!!

2006-05-24T13:23:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! This web-site is brand new and I want to be able to update as much as possible. I'll start with an up-dated version of Kaycee's story. As of today Kaycee is home and responding well with her chemo therapy. It has been 1 week since her last dose so her counts will start dipping over the weekend and the doctors are telling me that she will start losing her hair very soon. She's in great spirits and looks very good. Her appetite is much better since being home, she's eating all of her favorite things again. She was discharged from the hospital on 5/18/06 after 2 weeks in. In that time she had 3 surgeries, 4 blood transfusions and 1 round of chemo. Her kidneys are doing well and hopefully they will look good when the renal team looks at them in the near future. She still is on 4 medications and one of them is ridiculously expensive, luckily it's a PRN (as needed) and she hasn't needed any since being home. It's for nausea and her co-pay for a month supply was $600!!!!!!! So the hospital paid for 2 doses and we are working with her insurance company for future doses. Needless to say I almost died when I heard that! I actually asked the pharmacist if she was out of her mind!

I am just realizing that this post is all over the place.....much like my mind and my life these days. That's pretty much it for now.

Thanks for checking this out and please continue to think of my baby!!

Love,
Kerri MacDonald

PS.....Just a little FYI Our last name is MacDonald not McDonald. Some people have been posting things for McDonald and allthough it's only one letter, that one letter makes it not our last name.